Why Do I Feel Like My Husband Does Not See Me

When you are standing right in front of him!

WIFE LIFE & RELATIONSHIPSMARRIAGE & FAITH

4/7/20262 min read

Black wife in the Uncommon Wife community, asking Does My Husband see me.

Why Do I Feel Like My Husband Does Not See Me

Scripture: Genesis 2:23

You are standing right in front of him.

You cook the meals, manage the home, pray over the family, show up to his things, support his dreams, hold down your own career, raise the children, and somewhere in the middle of all of that, you became invisible.

Not to the world. To him.

If you have typed "why do I feel like my husband does not see me" into a search bar, you are sitting with one of the deepest aches a wife can carry. Because being unseen by the one person who chose you is a particular kind of lonely.

This is a conversation happening in black marriages all over the country right now. Women who are fully present and completely overlooked at the same time.

Here is what is usually happening.

Visibility in a marriage requires communication that most couples were never taught. Your husband may genuinely not know that you feel invisible because you have gotten so good at holding things together that nothing looks like it is missing. You stopped expecting to be seen a long time ago, and he stopped looking because you stopped asking.

That cycle is breakable. But it requires someone to speak first.

Adam's first words when he saw Eve were words of recognition. He saw her and named what she was. A bone of his bone. Flesh of his flesh. Part of him. When is the last time your husband looked at you and named what he sees?

More importantly, when is the last time you told him what you need to feel seen?

Start there. Not with an accusation. With a need. "I need you to ask me how I am and actually wait for the answer." "I need you to notice when I am overwhelmed." "I need to feel like I am your priority, not your given."

Those sentences are not dramatic. They are the beginning of a real black marriage conversation.

The Uncommon Wife community for black wives is full of women who understand exactly what you are feeling. You do not have to figure this out alone. Come be seen at theuncommonwife.com.

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